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Interested in the seasoned sexual adventurer's opinion on hooking up with people through craig's list - I recently discovered it and was all gung ho for a minute thinking it would be a great way to experiment with some new things I've been wanting to try but then as I was progressing with a person they said something that kind of freaked me out and I realized that they could be totally lying about everything - their pic, along with everything else. I also realized it seemed so secretive and shameful which is exactly the kind of bs I'm trying to get away from so decided I was going to just be patient and try to get more quality\open minded people in my life so I could have someone(s) I knew and trusted to take any new steps with instead of starting some double life bs. I'm in a great position here because I'm almost totally alone - so there's no one to keep me in a box or restrict my growth but, at the same time it's scary for the same reason - that anything is possible. So, I want to make sure I don't get on some slippery slope that could end up being bad for me. There are many questions other than these of course, I'm just at the tip of the iceberg here - I did order "the ethical slut" and another potentially helpful book so hopefully more will be revealed, and I know this is all up to each person but was curious if there was a majority opinion on this. There's a magic in my feeling about all this right now that I hope not to lose, I'm trying to ride this wave out as long as I can and discover as much as possible while my eyes are opened in this light. All sincere thoughts and opinions appreciated.
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Re: Craig's list?
Thu, October 25, 2007 - 2:26 PMhey edward,
sounds like you have been doing some major path work recently, lucid journey.
My take on CL...as in life there are all sorts of people. There are those who feel the desire to cloak their true being and those who are open and walking out in the open. What do you seek? What do you create?
Trust your intuition. (your gut feeling)
If something feels off, honor that feeling.
But be-aware of fears guiding ones foot steps. Honor your path and you will wander the woods, experiencing beauty along the way.
Blessings.
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Re: Craig's list?
Thu, October 25, 2007 - 7:31 PMabout the "alone" part... there are a lot of risks in meeting someone for the first time. if someone gives you information about themself over the internet, take it all with a grain of salt. a BIG grain of salt! if you want to meet up with someone or someones, have them meet you at a munch. Munches are group meets that occur on designated days, at designated times, in designated locations. Eureka has a munch with people from most of Humboldt county. down here in Mendocino county, the nearest munch is in Ukiah. Since I don't know any other kinksters here in the county, my best bet is driving an hour and a half to the local munch, on the first Monday of every month, at 630 pm. (alright, I'm not sure that's when the munch is... my car's not reliable enough to make that drive just now, but you get the point.) Even if you don't have someone particular to meet, start attending the munches and meet the other local kinksters. it's good to know your community.
another thing to remember when meeting someone for the first few times... create a safety net. find someone you trust, and tell them you're meeting a stranger. tell your friend who you're meeting, where the person's from, where you're meeting, and how to get ahold of you. set up a time that you're to call your friend, synchronize your watches, and call to let the friend know you're ok, when that time arrives. from there, you can tell the friend you're going to stay there for a while longer, or tell the friend you're heading home. remember to follow through with everything you tell your friend you're going to do, because the friend might get worried and call the police. this is just playing it safe. it shouldn't be a way to get extra attention from someone, so please remember the reasons for setting up a safety net, and using it. -
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Re: Craig's list?
Thu, October 25, 2007 - 8:21 PMCraigs List can be a roll of the dice, but I've met people from there quite successfully before. Only in other areas where there is a lot more activity on Craigslist. One good start is to meet in a public place first (coffee house, bar). A lot of people don't use their real pics. If you meet and they are not who they depicted themselves to be, run. What else are they lying about?
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Re: Craig's list?
Thu, October 25, 2007 - 8:38 PMWe've used Craigslist a few times. We (that would be husband and i) met a really cute and sexy guy in Davis where they had a pretty extensive amount of people looking for fun. It really just often depends on what you are looking for.
What worked best for us and what i advise to people is do your OWN ad--don't just depend on answerng others. This way you can be specific in what you're looking for and not end up answering a bunch of ads ( not being limited to) those of people that you don't really know if they are you're type and who may be "bots" or just never reply. Be very sure to be very clear in your ad..those that say "hey, hit me up!" will not get a lot of quality replies
You do have to be prepared that someone will send you a picture that is from 10 years ago. This happens. Why, is beyond me since you may end up meeting them and it will be a bit embarassing for maybe both parties.
i met my most wonderful husband through an ad on the internet (yahoo 6 years ago). For me, when i had replies to my ad, it WAS about the gut. It was also, for me, just realizing that this person could spell and write in complete sentences (sign of intelligence). i spent a week and still do that, sending e-mails to get a feel for the other person. If they are a flake, it just might come through right away (but not always). If they have a sense of humor, that can be detected pretty easily (one of my requirements). A picture right away also helps if you are like me and physical attraction is a rather large part of the attraction. When my now husband sent me his picture for the first time my heart pounded right out of my chest!
Anyway, many people complain about CL but don't give up--just realize this is Humboldt County and you have to be a very careful shopper.
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